...and I'm not talking "positive" as in YAY!
Ever since I started my $13.08 BR project I've been tracking my progress carefully. And there have definitely been some ups and downs since the start.
But the other day, while I was looking at my bankroll development, it dawned on me: There's a really strong correlation between life events and my BR (yes, I might be a tad slow for not figuring this out sooner, lol).
Looking at the graph, I realized that my BR is heavily influenced by negative life events. During this time period a lot of stuff has happened, including and in no particular order:
I'm the kind of person who really like to cheer people up, to make the people I love feel great. And I feel so helpless in situations where there's nothing I can do. So I worry. And it's quite apparent that I bring all of these feelings with me to the poker table.
In the game this comes out as either a complete lack of aggression, being to passive, not thinking while I'm playing, or just plain old monkey tilt.
Most of the time I've been able to step away from the table when I realize that I'm not playing my, A, B or even C-game. So I haven't played nearly as much poker in October as I'd planned on.
But there's one good thing to take from all of this. I know not to play when I'm feeling like s**t, and I need to find another outlet for my feelings. Yoga, climbing or karate sounds pretty good. And I'm taking up archery, which should be a lot of fun.
So while hoping for life to brighten up a bit, I'll focus on getting my thoughts and emotions under control. And I'm slowly working my way back to the tables.
Until next time, GL to you all :)
xx,
Ava
Ever since I started my $13.08 BR project I've been tracking my progress carefully. And there have definitely been some ups and downs since the start.
But the other day, while I was looking at my bankroll development, it dawned on me: There's a really strong correlation between life events and my BR (yes, I might be a tad slow for not figuring this out sooner, lol).
Looking at the graph, I realized that my BR is heavily influenced by negative life events. During this time period a lot of stuff has happened, including and in no particular order:
- Two deaths and two funerals
- Learning that a good friend's cancer is back, and things are not looking good
- The one year anniversary of my dear cousin's death
- My grandfather having a heart attack, he's okay though!
- My dad losing his job
I'm the kind of person who really like to cheer people up, to make the people I love feel great. And I feel so helpless in situations where there's nothing I can do. So I worry. And it's quite apparent that I bring all of these feelings with me to the poker table.
In the game this comes out as either a complete lack of aggression, being to passive, not thinking while I'm playing, or just plain old monkey tilt.
Most of the time I've been able to step away from the table when I realize that I'm not playing my, A, B or even C-game. So I haven't played nearly as much poker in October as I'd planned on.
But there's one good thing to take from all of this. I know not to play when I'm feeling like s**t, and I need to find another outlet for my feelings. Yoga, climbing or karate sounds pretty good. And I'm taking up archery, which should be a lot of fun.
So while hoping for life to brighten up a bit, I'll focus on getting my thoughts and emotions under control. And I'm slowly working my way back to the tables.
Until next time, GL to you all :)
xx,
Ava
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